It is the near future. Mankind has sent their first colonists to Mars. Amid dust storms and equipment failures, lagging morale amongst the crew, and the arrival of an Alien Super-Being, colony commander Major Syrtis has begun to go insane. Deep within Major Syrtis' mind, the forces of Hope, Madness, and the influence of the Super-Being wage a war for control.
TO PLAY, YOU'LL NEED:
- A printed copy of this file (2 pages)
- 3 to 6 Players
- 1 Deck of 54 standard playing cards (including 2 Jokers)
- About 30 minutes
This is a quick, print 'n' play hidden-team game inspired by The Flaming Lips' Christmas on Mars film, created for an upcoming FL coloring book. It is meant to be playable with few materials, and is presented as free of charge for the purposes of beta testing.
Please have fun, share it if you like it, and share feedback and questions below!
Just finished up a series of 7 character commissions for a game of Shadowrun. Detail images and the character descriptions I was provided with below!
Bill Guyana, Elf Buffalo Shaman that Heals the Wounded
Guyana looks like the elf version of John Wayne, smoking a cigar and wearing the Fabled Hat of Walker Texas Ranger. The hat is super important and his most cherished possession, he seriously will derail the entire party on a side quest to find his fucking hat. Currently he is wearing brown armored duster, cowboy boots, and pink rubber pants- of which the butt has been ripped out, leaving a flap that currently just kind of hangs over his junk like a makeshift loincloth. His ensemble is completed with several curios, including a tiny meat cleaver dubbed “Tiny Cleaver”. Since Buffalo is a healing totem with deep aspects of loyalty, many of his powers are focused on healing the wounded. He still manifests the force of charging Buffalo in the form of awesome buffalo hadoukens, cool wrestling moves, and other buffalo related hand to hand feats. Guyana’s hatred of gangs has drawn him into conflict with Sidecar on many occasions.
Crindi, Dwarf Rigger who Interfaces with Technology
Crindi is a stocky female dwarf with shoulder length pink hair and a scruffy beard. She often wears a welding mask with a mouth hole cut out of it or a leather gimp mask that has the addition of a red mohawk. The mohawk used to belong to an Orc ganger that was killed and scalped. She is clothed in an armored corset to help hold her ample bust in place and is draped in a leathery cloak made of suspiciously tattooed skin. She also sports a squirty flower similar to circus clowns, but hers is filled with corn mash moonshine. Crindi is plagued by occasional chronic face herpes due to questionable lifestyle choices. She is always accompanied by her two drones: DroneyDrone, a small, basic flying quadcopter drone, and SpideyDrone, a four-legged walking drone model with an additional clamp arm, blowtorch arm, and integrated submachine gun. Her carried weapons of choice include a hidden shock baton nestled between her breasts and a small flamethrower that has similar profile to a bullpup assault rifle with an attached fuel tank.
Leon, Human Hacker who Tinkers
Leon is a socially awkward techie, tall and lanky, somewhat pale, dark haired, and of Hispanic descent. His insecurities run deep enough to have body mods done to make his ears pointier and he attempts to pass for an elf at times. He is often seen wearing an armored trench coat and a pair of goggles and has plenty of pouches and tools of his trade. His cyberdeck is a recently acquired high-end user model, but he has several other customized devices created through his tinkering. This includes an always-in-reach environmental scanner that has the ability to detect the composition of substances, trace electronics, and other useful things. His weapon is a custom built, bolt action weapon called the Mini MAC. It is a handheld mass driver that can be used to fire specialized ammo tipped with different effects, like small grenade rounds. As a backup, his glove handily conceals an integrated pistol-caliber holdout weapon with a single shot of anesthetic gas in case he’s cornered.
Ry D’litning, Elven Mage that Rides the Lightning
Ry looks sort of like a young Elven Aryan wet dream with blue eyes, pale skin, and blonde long hair. He wears a stylish blue triangle-patterned duster with electric blue trim and has static electricity problems at times due to his affinity and ability to control electricity. He is also skinny and socially anxious, but very comfortable with electronic devices. His go-to weapons are a combat knife that he charges with a lethal shock and a Defiance Supershock taser gun with a pistol grip, but most of the time he relies upon his Palpatine-like ability to project electric bolts from his fingertips.
Sidecar, Dwarf Face that Runs with Gangs
Sidecar is a tough looking scarred dwarf ex-go ganger with tied back red hair, and a huge braided red beard and moustache. His beard and moustache form a triad of thick locks held by huge gold rings. His oversized hands are calloused and he wears rings on most of his fingers. He wears a dirty brown duster with armor plating, and has kill trophies in the form of a huge necklace of severed dicks. The centerpiece of the dick necklace is the Mummified Dick of Amon Ra. He is zealous in the pursuit of his targets, and his preferred weapons are a huge battle axe designed for use by a troll, and a pair of blast knuckles to add bite to his punches. Although he is a fearsome hand to hand combatant, Sidecar’s strengths also lie in the arts of intimidation, manipulation, and negotiation. His reputation of relentlessness carried far in the streets before his gang was destroyed in a series of conflicts. He still continues to do small-time deals and hits along with his obese, unapologetically homosexual, big black lover that goes by the name of Driver.
Thurdan, Elven Street Samurai that Trains as a Marksman
Thurdan is an older elf in his sixties. He has grey hair and several facial scars, and cybereye modifications. Thurdan is a former contract killer for the elven nations, and carries multiple trophy weapons in his pack with him whenever possible. His go-to weapons are the gold-plated, box-magazine AK97 assault rifle and a large silenced sniper rifle named Cherlene with an advanced scope. Due to the dangerous nature of his assignments, Thurdan is currently wearing a mishmash of clothing- a retrofitted armor vest covers the remaining scraps of his custom camo business suit.
Yuri, Elven Mage that Commands Mental Powers Yuri is an intense Elven mage from Russia with deep ties to the Vory (Russian Mafia). He has a grey ponytail covering up a gem on the back of his neck that he uses as a power focus. He wears a goatee. His armored duster covers multitudes of fetishes and trinkets to compliment his craft. When the situation requires an in depth interrogation, he will wear his ‘torture coat’: a sturdy apron with many implements of pain such as scalpels, pliers, knives, and even a small blowtorch kept in easy reach. Upon his head he wears a novelty drink hat designed to carry a container of tasty beverages, and a flexible straw protrudes down into his mouth so that he can fuel his functional, yet severe, case of alcoholism at will. One of Yuri’s most coveted possessions is his Enchanted Flask of Unending Vodka, which he keeps on his person at all times. In recent days, Yuri has modified the use of his powers to include ‘napkin based damage’. By focusing his telekinetic abilities, he often hurls vodka-covered napkins at his foes and attempts to set them ablaze or creates makeshift molotov cocktails.
>>LEVEL UP.
The leathery TOME OF ACCOUNTOMANCY shifts as though alive in your hand. You gasp as it opens itself as though alive, the strange runes etched upon its pages coruscating resplendently and burning after-images into your corneas.
You feel new neurons fusing; pathways being carved in your very mind! This may very well be your death, you think, as you plummet hundreds of yards on the back of a rampaging MIDDLE MANAGER, but you feel gloriously.
To celebrate, commentators punky_wunky_is_me won a copy of One Finger Death Punch, Joseph Nelson won a copy of Of Orcs and Men, and satans.lil.bastard.child won a copy of UnEpic!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
>>REMEMBER PHONOGRAPHICALLY. USE TOME.
At the behest of your ANCESTRAL SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT, you use your PHONOGRAPHIC MEMORY to peel back the veil of Time and reach deep into your Pool of Ancestral Recollection.
“The Folly of Sal-Shamon…” A faint impression of an Accountomancer of times long passed rises to the surface of your brain’s eye… A meandering practitioner, but well-meaning, and powerful. So powerful, in fact, that it was said he once expanded a simple Error of Transposition into a breach in the very fabric of Numberspace, inverting the position of his clan’s office-space with that of the Under-Sun (a daunting mistake, to be certain, but one that led to substantial real-estate asset gains).
Your mind snaps back to the present, as the MIDDLE MANAGER you desperately cling to pulls you over the edge of the STAIRCASE into the unending void below.
You’ll not do this again. Tugging your TOME OF ACCOUNTOMANTIC LORE out of your trusty BACKPACK, you begin to focus every once of numerical concentration you have upon the ever-shifting runes adorning its leathery shell, calling out with each brainwave for your SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT to guide you.
Your vision shakes and burns white-hot.
>>LEVEL UP!
Ontok the Meaty has reached Level 7! To celebrate, 3 random top commentators will win a Steam game key! They will be contacted presently!
Thought I'd post this here, as it would have saved me a few hours:
I'm using a Vee Themes Blogger template (KAMERA), and found a few days ago that my Featured Posts touch- slider and my top menu navigation bar(!!!) had both disappeared. I hadn't recently edited anything on the theme, so I was certainly perplexed.
After a few hours of frustration, I found this method, which makes little sense to me, but Worked: http://www.mistrecja.com/2014/05/how-to-fix-followers-widget-disappearing-from-blogger-blog.html
Basically, you need to edit your template and change the types of the 'HTML' widgets to 'Gadget' and their names to 'Gadget1' and 'Gadget2,' etc. You can find them easily with the "Jump to widget" drop down menu. They should be named something like "HTML77" by default.
1000 points to the person that can tell me why this worked!
>>DODGE MANAGEMENT. USE KUSARIGAMA AS BRIDLE.
You nimbly dodge the MIDDLE MANAGER’S thrust, sticking it in the side of its grotesque brain-case with the HIDE-KNIFE you stole from a gaggle of Insectoid sell-spears.
With the grace of a trained hunter, you leap atop the monster’s many-segmented carapace, straining against the beast’s might as it grumbles in pain and annoyance. Your clever manipulations have given you a steering mechanism!
The MIDDLE MANAGER overbalances and, hindered by the slippery pool of mercury URINE running down the STAIRCASE, begins to tumble down the stairs.
This could have gone better.
Your mind’s eye explodes with a searing, angelic vision: the haunting visage of your ANCESTRAL SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT, calling out to guide you.
“THE FOLLY OF SAL-SHAMON,” echoes its voice, pounding in your brain, “YOUR SALVATION LIES THERE.”
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Think, Remember, Use, Jump, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Perk], Say, Shout, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
>>USE RUSTY FORK ON VIAL. USE BIT OF ROPE ON BATTLE-CUTLERY. MENACE.
The MIDDLE MANAGER seizes your moment of surprise and pounces upon GREJORGIO with its brutal savagery, shaking him about like a soggy ragdoll.
In a burst of inspiration, you dip your BLOODY, RUSTY FORK into your VIAL OF MYSTERIOUS BUBBLING FLUID, creating a–
Oh, wait. The FORK dissolves into the VIAL. Hrm.
In a second, unrelated burst of inspiration, you attach the LONG-SCYTHE BLADE in your BACKPACK to your BIT OF ROPE, tying the INSECTOID HIDE-KNIFE as a handle to the other end to create a WICKED-ASS DOUBLE-BLADED KUSARIGAMA. Surely, the spirits of your berzerker-accountant ancestors are moving through you!
As a guttural cry escapes from your lips, you swing the KUSARIGAMA over your head in a deadly arc, catching the MIDDLE MANAGER directly in its eye socket! It’s really jammed in there. Kind of painful to look at.
With a snarl, the MIDDLE MANAGER lets GREJORGIO fall from its bloody jaws and charges down the steps towards you!
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Run, Dodge, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Skill], Use [Perk], Jump, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
>>PEE DOWN STAIRS.
You let loose a torrent of SILVERY LIQUID, stored a dangerously long period of time in your amazing INCREDIBLADDER, and feel the toxins drain from your body and mind.
As a veritable silvery waterfall cascades down the STAIRCASE, you glance over at GREG’S hovering, be-tendrilled form.
No- NOT GREG, but GREJORGIO, your curious Curiomancer companion!
Thinking about the clues, you realize his true identity should have been rather obvious…
…And you! You are not RON TUCKER, mild-mannered Accountomancer! You are ONTOK THE MEATY, lauded BERZERKER-ACCOUNTANT!
Your BRIEFCASE, a BACKPACK! Your well-groomed moustache, deadly TUSKS! How had you forgotten? WHAT HAS THIS PLACE DONE TO YOU?!
GREJORGIO taps you on the shoulder with an INVISIBLE TENDRIL as you go through your inner monologue. He points to the nearby landing; the horrific, blood-soaked snout of the MIDDLE MANAGER slides through the door frame above.
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Run, Fight, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Special Ability], Jump, Say, Hide.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
