>>LEVEL UP.
The leathery TOME OF ACCOUNTOMANCY shifts as though alive in your hand. You gasp as it opens itself as though alive, the strange runes etched upon its pages coruscating resplendently and burning after-images into your corneas.
You feel new neurons fusing; pathways being carved in your very mind! This may very well be your death, you think, as you plummet hundreds of yards on the back of a rampaging MIDDLE MANAGER, but you feel gloriously.
To celebrate, commentators punky_wunky_is_me won a copy of One Finger Death Punch, Joseph Nelson won a copy of Of Orcs and Men, and satans.lil.bastard.child won a copy of UnEpic!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
>>REMEMBER PHONOGRAPHICALLY. USE TOME.
At the behest of your ANCESTRAL SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT, you use your PHONOGRAPHIC MEMORY to peel back the veil of Time and reach deep into your Pool of Ancestral Recollection.
“The Folly of Sal-Shamon…” A faint impression of an Accountomancer of times long passed rises to the surface of your brain’s eye… A meandering practitioner, but well-meaning, and powerful. So powerful, in fact, that it was said he once expanded a simple Error of Transposition into a breach in the very fabric of Numberspace, inverting the position of his clan’s office-space with that of the Under-Sun (a daunting mistake, to be certain, but one that led to substantial real-estate asset gains).
Your mind snaps back to the present, as the MIDDLE MANAGER you desperately cling to pulls you over the edge of the STAIRCASE into the unending void below.
You’ll not do this again. Tugging your TOME OF ACCOUNTOMANTIC LORE out of your trusty BACKPACK, you begin to focus every once of numerical concentration you have upon the ever-shifting runes adorning its leathery shell, calling out with each brainwave for your SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT to guide you.
Your vision shakes and burns white-hot.
>>LEVEL UP!
Ontok the Meaty has reached Level 7! To celebrate, 3 random top commentators will win a Steam game key! They will be contacted presently!
Thought I'd post this here, as it would have saved me a few hours:
I'm using a Vee Themes Blogger template (KAMERA), and found a few days ago that my Featured Posts touch- slider and my top menu navigation bar(!!!) had both disappeared. I hadn't recently edited anything on the theme, so I was certainly perplexed.
After a few hours of frustration, I found this method, which makes little sense to me, but Worked: http://www.mistrecja.com/2014/05/how-to-fix-followers-widget-disappearing-from-blogger-blog.html
Basically, you need to edit your template and change the types of the 'HTML' widgets to 'Gadget' and their names to 'Gadget1' and 'Gadget2,' etc. You can find them easily with the "Jump to widget" drop down menu. They should be named something like "HTML77" by default.
1000 points to the person that can tell me why this worked!
>>DODGE MANAGEMENT. USE KUSARIGAMA AS BRIDLE.
You nimbly dodge the MIDDLE MANAGER’S thrust, sticking it in the side of its grotesque brain-case with the HIDE-KNIFE you stole from a gaggle of Insectoid sell-spears.
With the grace of a trained hunter, you leap atop the monster’s many-segmented carapace, straining against the beast’s might as it grumbles in pain and annoyance. Your clever manipulations have given you a steering mechanism!
The MIDDLE MANAGER overbalances and, hindered by the slippery pool of mercury URINE running down the STAIRCASE, begins to tumble down the stairs.
This could have gone better.
Your mind’s eye explodes with a searing, angelic vision: the haunting visage of your ANCESTRAL SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT, calling out to guide you.
“THE FOLLY OF SAL-SHAMON,” echoes its voice, pounding in your brain, “YOUR SALVATION LIES THERE.”
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Think, Remember, Use, Jump, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Perk], Say, Shout, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
>>USE RUSTY FORK ON VIAL. USE BIT OF ROPE ON BATTLE-CUTLERY. MENACE.
The MIDDLE MANAGER seizes your moment of surprise and pounces upon GREJORGIO with its brutal savagery, shaking him about like a soggy ragdoll.
In a burst of inspiration, you dip your BLOODY, RUSTY FORK into your VIAL OF MYSTERIOUS BUBBLING FLUID, creating a–
Oh, wait. The FORK dissolves into the VIAL. Hrm.
In a second, unrelated burst of inspiration, you attach the LONG-SCYTHE BLADE in your BACKPACK to your BIT OF ROPE, tying the INSECTOID HIDE-KNIFE as a handle to the other end to create a WICKED-ASS DOUBLE-BLADED KUSARIGAMA. Surely, the spirits of your berzerker-accountant ancestors are moving through you!
As a guttural cry escapes from your lips, you swing the KUSARIGAMA over your head in a deadly arc, catching the MIDDLE MANAGER directly in its eye socket! It’s really jammed in there. Kind of painful to look at.
With a snarl, the MIDDLE MANAGER lets GREJORGIO fall from its bloody jaws and charges down the steps towards you!
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Run, Dodge, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Skill], Use [Perk], Jump, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
>>PEE DOWN STAIRS.
You let loose a torrent of SILVERY LIQUID, stored a dangerously long period of time in your amazing INCREDIBLADDER, and feel the toxins drain from your body and mind.
As a veritable silvery waterfall cascades down the STAIRCASE, you glance over at GREG’S hovering, be-tendrilled form.
No- NOT GREG, but GREJORGIO, your curious Curiomancer companion!
Thinking about the clues, you realize his true identity should have been rather obvious…
…And you! You are not RON TUCKER, mild-mannered Accountomancer! You are ONTOK THE MEATY, lauded BERZERKER-ACCOUNTANT!
Your BRIEFCASE, a BACKPACK! Your well-groomed moustache, deadly TUSKS! How had you forgotten? WHAT HAS THIS PLACE DONE TO YOU?!
GREJORGIO taps you on the shoulder with an INVISIBLE TENDRIL as you go through your inner monologue. He points to the nearby landing; the horrific, blood-soaked snout of the MIDDLE MANAGER slides through the door frame above.
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Run, Fight, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Special Ability], Jump, Say, Hide.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
