>>LEVEL UP.
The leathery TOME OF ACCOUNTOMANCY shifts as though alive in your hand. You gasp as it opens itself as though alive, the strange runes etched upon its pages coruscating resplendently and burning after-images into your corneas.
You feel new neurons fusing; pathways being carved in your very mind! This may very well be your death, you think, as you plummet hundreds of yards on the back of a rampaging MIDDLE MANAGER, but you feel gloriously.
Ontok the Meaty has reached Level 7! Go to http://goo.gl/forms/rCUkA7iJG3
to vote on new Level-up perks for Ontok!
To celebrate, commentators punky_wunky_is_me won a copy of One Finger Death Punch, Joseph Nelson won a copy of Of Orcs and Men, and satans.lil.bastard.child won a copy of UnEpic!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
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>>REMEMBER PHONOGRAPHICALLY. USE TOME.
At the behest of your ANCESTRAL SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT, you use your PHONOGRAPHIC MEMORY to peel back the veil of Time and reach deep into your Pool of Ancestral Recollection.
“The Folly of Sal-Shamon…” A faint impression of an Accountomancer of times long passed rises to the surface of your brain’s eye… A meandering practitioner, but well-meaning, and powerful. So powerful, in fact, that it was said he once expanded a simple Error of Transposition into a breach in the very fabric of Numberspace, inverting the position of his clan’s office-space with that of the Under-Sun (a daunting mistake, to be certain, but one that led to substantial real-estate asset gains).
Your mind snaps back to the present, as the MIDDLE MANAGER you desperately cling to pulls you over the edge of the STAIRCASE into the unending void below.
You’ll not do this again. Tugging your TOME OF ACCOUNTOMANTIC LORE out of your trusty BACKPACK, you begin to focus every once of numerical concentration you have upon the ever-shifting runes adorning its leathery shell, calling out with each brainwave for your SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT to guide you.
Your vision shakes and burns white-hot.
>>LEVEL UP!
Ontok the Meaty has reached Level 7! To celebrate, 3 random top commentators will win a Steam game key! They will be contacted presently!
In the meantime, go to http://goo.gl/forms/rCUkA7iJG3
to vote on new Level-up perks for Ontok!
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>>DODGE MANAGEMENT. USE KUSARIGAMA AS BRIDLE.
You nimbly dodge the MIDDLE MANAGER’S thrust, sticking it in the side of its grotesque brain-case with the HIDE-KNIFE you stole from a gaggle of Insectoid sell-spears.
With the grace of a trained hunter, you leap atop the monster’s many-segmented carapace, straining against the beast’s might as it grumbles in pain and annoyance. Your clever manipulations have given you a steering mechanism!
The MIDDLE MANAGER overbalances and, hindered by the slippery pool of mercury URINE running down the STAIRCASE, begins to tumble down the stairs.
This could have gone better.
Your mind’s eye explodes with a searing, angelic vision: the haunting visage of your ANCESTRAL SPIRIT-ACCOUNTANT, calling out to guide you.
“THE FOLLY OF SAL-SHAMON,” echoes its voice, pounding in your brain, “YOUR SALVATION LIES THERE.”
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Think, Remember, Use, Jump, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Perk], Say, Shout, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
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>>USE RUSTY FORK ON VIAL. USE BIT OF ROPE ON BATTLE-CUTLERY. MENACE.
The MIDDLE MANAGER seizes your moment of surprise and pounces upon GREJORGIO with its brutal savagery, shaking him about like a soggy ragdoll.
In a burst of inspiration, you dip your BLOODY, RUSTY FORK into your VIAL OF MYSTERIOUS BUBBLING FLUID, creating a–
Oh, wait. The FORK dissolves into the VIAL. Hrm.
In a second, unrelated burst of inspiration, you attach the LONG-SCYTHE BLADE in your BACKPACK to your BIT OF ROPE, tying the INSECTOID HIDE-KNIFE as a handle to the other end to create a WICKED-ASS DOUBLE-BLADED KUSARIGAMA. Surely, the spirits of your berzerker-accountant ancestors are moving through you!
As a guttural cry escapes from your lips, you swing the KUSARIGAMA over your head in a deadly arc, catching the MIDDLE MANAGER directly in its eye socket! It’s really jammed in there. Kind of painful to look at.
With a snarl, the MIDDLE MANAGER lets GREJORGIO fall from its bloody jaws and charges down the steps towards you!
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Run, Dodge, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Skill], Use [Perk], Jump, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
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>>PEE DOWN STAIRS.
You let loose a torrent of SILVERY LIQUID, stored a dangerously long period of time in your amazing INCREDIBLADDER, and feel the toxins drain from your body and mind.
As a veritable silvery waterfall cascades down the STAIRCASE, you glance over at GREG’S hovering, be-tendrilled form.
No- NOT GREG, but GREJORGIO, your curious Curiomancer companion!
Thinking about the clues, you realize his true identity should have been rather obvious…
…And you! You are not RON TUCKER, mild-mannered Accountomancer! You are ONTOK THE MEATY, lauded BERZERKER-ACCOUNTANT!
Your BRIEFCASE, a BACKPACK! Your well-groomed moustache, deadly TUSKS! How had you forgotten? WHAT HAS THIS PLACE DONE TO YOU?!
GREJORGIO taps you on the shoulder with an INVISIBLE TENDRIL as you go through your inner monologue. He points to the nearby landing; the horrific, blood-soaked snout of the MIDDLE MANAGER slides through the door frame above.
>>ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Run, Fight, Use [Inventory Item], Use [Special Ability], Jump, Say, Hide.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, and SUBSCRIBE at: http://ift.tt/1XaZco2
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
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GRAB LEAFY APPENDAGE. SCROUNGE.
Bracing yourself against the pressure pounding in your lungs, you take hold of GREJORGIO THE MANY-LEAVED SQUASH’S one-hundred-percent organic TENDRIL and dive further into the silvery liquid.
You’re barely able to see at all, this far down in the mire, but your hoof scrapes something solid as you descend. You reach for it; it’s flat and leathery, and covered in some sort of runic script.
Your vision starts to go dark, and you tug on GREJORGIO’S APPENDAGE to alert him (it?), but are dismayed as you yank it free and it begins to dissolve in the dim depths.
Everything goes black as the SILVERY LIQUID fills your lungs and bladder.
You wake up in your office. You are Ron Tucker, Certified Public Accountomancer. An INTRIGUING LEATHERY BINDER sits upon your desk.
Your STEAM ABACUS chitters erratically.
Exits are North, South, East, West.
ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Think, Remember, Investigate, Use, Take, Look, Go, etc.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, et cetera at: http://ift.tt/1TrQO4F
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort! This level, Chandon Vicarious won a copy of Sniper: Ghost Warrior!
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REMEMBER PAST LIVES.
You bend down at one of the languid pools and gaze into its reflection.
Gazing back at you, you instantly recognize what you know to be your SPIRIT ANIMAL: an Arch-Accountant, starched collar and striped tie framing its majestic visage.
Its gaze bores into you, replenishing memories long left for dead. You recall your skill in the ancient arts of ACCOUNTOMANCY. Your head feels clearer, your memory… functional. You think you could Remember, with fine detail, phrases you’ve heard in the past. You even smell a little bit better.
GREJORGIO, THE MANY-LEAFED SQUASH, floats at your shoulder.
The ARCH-ACCOUNTANT beckons for you to join it in the STRANGE POOL.
ENTER COMMAND:
Suggested commands: Use, Remember, Think, Say, Go, Swim, Cast, Scrounge.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, et cetera at: http://ift.tt/1TrQO4F
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort! This level, Chandon Vicarious won a copy of Sniper: Ghost Warrior!
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STROLL PAST HALLUCINATIONS.
You push past the rapidly-warping forms of the MOLDFELLOW GUARDSMEN and blink repeatedly as you are surprised by the visage of a vast, desolate landscape. Small pools dot an otherwise blackened vista.
You turn around to look for the HOVEL you emerged from, but find naught.
GREJORGIO, THE MANY-LEAVED SQUASH, floats behind you silently.
ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Think, Remember, Use [Inventory Item], Say, Scrounge, Go.
Check current Status, Inventory, Abilities, XP leaderboard, et cetera at: http://ift.tt/1TrQO4F
LEVEL UP! Go to http://goo.gl/forms/POe589uL31 to vote on Ontok’s new abilities!! Also, Chandon Vicarious won a Steam game and will be contacted!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost (with @rollinkunz) for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
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LEARN ABOUT GREJORGIO. LOOT HOVEL.
“Unwanted by the authorities, eh?” you mutter gruffly to GREJORGIO, THE INVISIBLY-TENDRILLED SKULL. “I’ve been on that side of things, to be sure.” You squint your eyes at your new companion’s wispy, ethereal form. “You don’t much appear a force to be reckoned with, though…”
GREJORGIO regards you coolly through his empty eye sockets, the dim light of mushroom-glow glinting nigh-imperceptibly off his transparent body.
“I…. ssssee much. Mmmmake itemssss…. disappear.”
With this, he reproduces the MYSTERIOUS THROBBING ORB that seemed to draw the CTHULHUDOG, now lying dead in the murk of the sewers.
“I…. knowwww much. Curiossss ssssuch as thissss…. are plain to mmmme.”
As GREJORGIO holds the ORB, it begins to dissolve. As you watch, it glows, fades, and is gone. All that remains is a slight residue on the odd creature’s tendrils and an acrid, burning scent.
“Onnnce.” His voice seems to echo through the skull, and yours, and Time, and Space. “I mmmay bring to bear the fullllll power of objectssss ssssuch as thisssszzz. But onnnnly once.” Your fingers itch violently.
The militant noises outside seem to draw nearer. It sounds like they are beginning to search the area, door-to-door.
You decide to take what supplies you can from this place while there’s still time, and reach for a nearby NON-GLOWING MUSHROOM. It turns to your hand, and, with a puff of spores, begins to shriek.
ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: Use, Think, Ask (Grejorgio to), Tell, Open, Go, Kill, Run, Scrounge.
YOU HAVE UNLOCKED THE “COMPANIONS” TAB! View at http://ift.tt/1TrQO4F
YOU HAVE UNLOCKED A NEW COMPANION: GREJORGIO THE CURIOMANCER!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
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GRAB STUFF. DISCARD. GIVE ORB TO NUGS. SPREAD TAX.
You gather the bit of ROPE, the bubbling VIAL of liquid, and the obnoxiously-large GEM, throwing away your set of CARDS to make room and stuffing them into your BACKPACK.
You present the NUG KING with the MYSTERIOUS THROBBING ORB, but he (it?) scoffs: “You’ll not pawn that off on me! That’s what brought this ruin to us, you cretin!” You’ll just… hold it in your hand, you suppose.
Next, you attempt to SPREAD TAX to the NUGS. Having no source of income, they’re IMMUNE! One of them still gives you a COIN, though. You put it in your BACKPACK with the others.
The INVISIBLY-TENDRILLED SKULL looms behind you silently.
Exits are: SOUTH, UP.
ENTER COMMANDS:
Suggested commands: SAY, LOOK, USE, THROW, TAKE, GO.
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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LEVEL UP! Ontok has gained enough experience for the next level!
Go to http://goo.gl/forms/5FAUFQ8sdj to choose Stats, Skills, and Perks!
Also, 3 top Doodle Dungeoneers have won Steam games, and will be contacted presently!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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FLEX. DEMAND ANSWERS.
Releasing the INVISIBLE TENDRILS of the SCREAMING SKULL, you ride down the crumbling landslide on the back of your defeated foe’s corpse. The NUGS gather around you in awe. You flex mightily. They seem impressed.
“Behold!” You bellow, “I have slain this mighty trespasser to your lands! In return, as tribute, I demand information on Hallibuffer Oonx!”
“Pah!” The NUG KING spits on the ground before him. “You led this Overcity watch-beast straight to us; destroyed our home!” The NUGS around him begin to mumble, and he pauses, thoughtfully.
“As for Oonx, though… I’ll leave you to him. You’ll find him in the city-above-the-city, though I know of no map to lead you there. Now, leave us! Nark log arg og! Ag loog!”
With that, NUGS come swarming out of the shadows, hacking away at the CTHULHUDOG’S CORPSE and hauling off chunks of granite-tough meat. Items glint from behind its rib-bones.
The SKULL stops screaming and begins to untie itself from the ceiling.
LEVEL UP! Ontok has gained enough experience for the next level! Go to http://goo.gl/forms/5FAUFQ8sdj to choose Stats, Skills, and Perks!
Also, 3 top Doodle Dungeoneers have won Steam games, and will be contacted presently!
ENTER COMMANDS: Suggested commands: Investigate, Say, Think, Take, Go, Search, Use, Drop, Cut, Climb.
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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@griffinmcelroy You probably recognize this popular hangout- if you hurry, you might get to see it before it is destroyed :) @justinmcelroy #monsterfactory #mbmbam @mbmbam #graffiti #atxartist #rollinkunz #bartsimpson #polygon #videogames #podcast
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I seriously tried to make it just. .. as close to Bart Simpson as is possible. @griffinmcelroy @justinmcelroy @donkeymint #monsterfactory #mbmbam @mbmbam #graffiti #atxartist #rollinkunz #bartsimpson #polygon #videogames #podcast
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>>SQUEEZE THROUGH WOUND:
You grunt as you contort your meaty frame in an attempt to push it through the small wound you’ve cut into the CTHULHUDOG’s torso.
As you strain against the terrifying creature’s still-active stomach lining, you notice a slippery, jelly-like texture covering some parts of the opening. As you catch it shimmering lightly in the dim luminescence of the sewers around you, you realize that this must be part of the makeup of the SCREAMING SKULL you still hold in one hand.
You manage to squeeze your head and one arm through the opening before becoming hopelessly stuck. As you hold the SCREAMING SKULL above your head, you see its invisible tendrils unfurl, spreading upwards into the dank chamber.
The CTHULHUDOG, meanwhile, seems to be trying to scramble up the steep rockfall it caused on its way down. Ambient light shines down from the city above as the stony beast charges up, then slides down, again and again.
The SKULL resumes its screaming.
>>ENTER COMMAND:
Suggested commands: Toss, Use, Think, Say, Be, Drop, Tie.
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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>>PUNCTURE STOMACH LINING WITH LONG-SCYTHE. USE SCREAMING SKULL ON OPENING.
Heaving with all of your might, you shove the LONG-SCYTHE through the CTHULHUDOG’S stony outer membrane, shattering the shaft of your weapon in the process. You stash the SCYTHE BLADE for later.
Next, you stuff the GRINNING SKULL, still screaming bloody murder, through the newly-created puncture wound.
The SKULL continues to scream:
“I’m not just a skull, you nit! I’m invisible!”
Now that light is entering the rank innards-cave you are stuck inside, you see the light, shimmery outlines of some sort of jelly-tendrils around the SKULL.
>>ENTER COMMAND:
Suggested commands: Say, Shove, Use, Chuck, Look, Investigate, Scrounge.
Doodle Dungeon is back!
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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>>TAUNT CTHULHUDOG:
You goad the CTHULHUDOG into attacking you with a sharp blast from your stink-glands.
It slavers, then pounces upon you with a speed belied by its massive stony bulk. You feel something snap within you.
The beast pulls you into its jaws; a hot rush of putrid, otherworldly dog-breath assaults your nostrils. Deep within its gullet, you catch a glimpse of something leathery and familiar.
…Is that your BACKPACK?
>>ENTER COMMAND:
Suggested commands: Fight, Run, Grab, Say, Use, Throw, Dive, Hide.
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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>>THROW ORB AT CTHULHUDOG. DIVE. SPEAK TO CTHULHUDOG.
You snatch up the MYSTERIOUS THROBBING ORB, your fingers itching an almost painful amount, and huck it into the CTHULHUDOG’S slavering maw, diving out of the way of its death-charge as you do so.
The CTHULHUDOG catches the ORB in its mouth and swallows it greedily, then stumbles for a moment, confused. After a moment of searching the area with its tentacles, it fixates on the NUG KING, still struggling to remove himself from the pile of FURS at the bottom of the throne steps.
Realizing the NUG KING may be the only one with information on your quarry, you endeavor to distract the stony menace. In your most commanding voice, you bellow “Begone, hound! I am your master now!”
The CTHULHUDOG’S attention snaps back to you. You soil yourself.
>>ENTER COMMAND:
Suggested commands: Fight, Run, Grab, Say, Use, Throw, Dive, Hide.
Suggest commands or vote on others’ to gain Ontok XP! Share or repost for extra XP! When Ontok levels up, a random top commentator wins a Steam game of some sort!
Check Inventory, Status, and XP leaderboard Here: http://ift.tt/1lAKCc6
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